Keep love strong.
PERHAPS A CHANCE
In the store window,
I see your reflection
I hurry to confirm
My heart skips a beat
My head spins
Realizing how much
I have missed
You drop a package
To your surprise,
I retrieve it
Accidentally, our hands touch
Your eyes mirror my soul
I blush, knowing you still care
A heavy silence
Covers our unspoken words
We smile, nod good-bye,
And walk in opposite directions
Leaving nothing to chance…
Like two well-oiled machines.
© Doris Ann Bridgehouse
Shine in the social spotlight.
Living in your head is not real. Fantasies cannot change your life. Action is the key.
UNFULFILLED PEOPLE
Unfulfilled people become spiritless hungry ghosts who
feed off the unhappiness of others. They seek victims to
satisfy their insatiable appetite. Think of the hungry ghost
as an entity with a gigantic body and small mouth. It perpetually
feels empty—never at peace. Their approach to a
victim is subtle. Every word and situation is carefully chosen
to manipulate individuals into the idea they are not
worthy.
Soon your sense of self crumbles, destroying your clarity.
Physically and psychologically you become submerged
in self doubt. The present moment feels wearying and stultifying.
You hate yourself as well as others. At this juncture,
you are willing to listen to a hungry ghost’s empty promises.
You become a hungry ghost. Now you are prepared to
pull others into your solitary dead zone.
How does one break free from being a hungry ghost?
Starvation is the key. Examine your motives. Be mindful of
your actions—own your responsibilities. Recognize that it
is okay to make a mistake. Keep your emotions intact. Express
yourself with compassion. Do not allow your paranoia
to get the best of you. Every time you feel yourself
slipping back into the hungry ghost syndrome, free yourself
by speaking the truth.
INTIMIDATION AND MANIPULATION
Some people use clever criticism to gloss the truth of a subject.
They know how to rationalize and extract the truth
from reality to assure an upper hand. This type of behavior
tilts the balance in our relationships. Learn to listen to the
uncomfortable noises surrounding your energy field (see
Chapter I, “How to Nurture Your Energy Field”). The noises
are showing you that some type of negative pattern is forming.
Empathetically be smart. This is a time to question
your involvement. See a relationship for what it is, and then
make a decision according to your reality. You have the
right to sit at home, leave town, or make plans that may not
coincide with anyone else’s wishes.
Example 1: Intimidation and Manipulation,
living in a Shadow
Julian lives in his father’s shadow. His father’s dynamic
personality and witty charm topped with a silver tongue
makes him a force to be reckoned with. No one could talk
anyone into anything or defuse torrid situations quite like
he. As far back as Julian could remember, his father primed
him to be part of the family business. Julian felt there would
not be any other place in this world he would rather be.
In an impromptu moment—after graduating from college--
Julian’s best friend Bob asked him to join him on a
summer trip to Europe with their three roommates. Their
trip would be their last hurrah before they started their careers.
On the trip, the young men related to each other profoundly.
They conversed about where their lives were
headed and their dreams. Bob mentioned he was looking
forward to his career. He could not hold back his enthusiasm.
The rest of his friends felt the same. That evening
their candid conversations started Julian thinking.
The next day at breakfast Julian divulged he was not
sure he wanted to run his father’s business. It was not that
he hated the thought. He just realized last night it might
not be for him. Bob asked him if he had a career preference.
Without hesitating, he said, “I would rather teach business
than become a part of it. I already have my master’s
degree in business. I could ask my uncle, who is a professor
at the local college, to direct me. But now that I made up
my mind, I’m worried about my father’s reaction.”
He mimicked his father’s mannerism, “Julian listen! I
won’t have this. You’re going to work with me. That’s the
way it’s supposed to be. Let’s think this out. Work for the
company one year. If you do not like it, then you can quit.
Do not turn your back on me. Give me one year!”
His tone changed as his voiced choked, “Dad has such
a strong personality. Suppose I give into his wishes. I shall
hate myself for the rest of my life.”
Julian is in conflict. He wants to do what is right for
him, but he also does not want to disappoint his father. The
reality of the situation: Julian cannot control how his father
feels anymore than his father can control how he feels.
After his father absorbs the shock of change, Julian and
his father can start from a new beginning—two men
choosing their place in life. Through love and acceptance,
they will find a connection—a place filled with joy.
Example 2: intimidation and Manipulation, Hostility
Let us suppose your co-worker, Buddy, took the liberty
of helping himself to your office supplies. Sometimes he
even sits at your desk and makes telephone calls while you
stand there fuming. Also, he thinks nothing of rearranging
the articles you have on your desk top. Once he even rearranged
your files.
You told him gently to leave your supplies alone and
not to sit at your desk. With a surprised look on his face, he
snaps, “Why are you overreacting? What is the big deal?
No one else seems to mind me sitting at their desks.”
You cannot be soft with this type of person. He needs
a direct and firm approach. Buddy may act friendly, but he
is definitely hostile and aggressive. Tell him outright he is
not permitted to touch anything on your desk. And if he
persists in this behavior, you will report him to the office
manager.
Example 3: Intimidation and Manipulation,
Self Preservation
For the past four years your nephew visited and stayed
at your Boston apartment for a week. You enjoyed his visit
even though it was a little cramped—he slept on the living
room sofa.
Moving ahead, he is married and now has twins. He
notified you he would be visiting with his family in a
month. And he plans on staying in your apartment. You explained
to him you would be happy to see everyone, but
your apartment is too small to accommodate his family.
You firmly suggested he stay at the local hotel.
For your own self preservation, you had to take a stand.
There is a difference between putting out the doormat or
being one. Pushy people have no qualms about shoving
others to the limit Make yourself clear. You have a right to
your own space. The pushy person either understands or
he or she does not.
GOSSIP
If you feel the need to gossip, you are looking to relieve
some sort of psychological pain—a temporary solution.
And by diverting your misery to gossiping you are simply
entertaining your own dullness.
How do you stop yourself from gossiping? Ask your
spirit to release you from the past. You will receive an
epiphany. Be prepared, your ego will resist.
Questions:
Do you gossip? Do you make it a point to gossip
against those who you think have slighted you? Do you repeat
rumors about the private affairs of others?
• Bring comfort to anyone who needs it.
VENTING
I advise everyone to vent; everyone needs a sounding
board. For a word or a deed held back is as ineffectual to
harmony as words said in anger. Venting is different from
gossiping. As you communicate, there is honesty. You are
not defaming anyone. There is a sense of relaxed freedom.
One’s significant other or close friends should be able
to listen to complaints about life’s ups and downs with em-
pathy. In addition, always honor the person who has lent
you an ear.
GREED
Greed has a magical elusive allure that lies dormant in
everyone. A greedy person fulfills one accomplishment, to
serve the self (ego). Greed justifies one’s action with a multitude
of excuses—destroying one’s balance and breaking
the present moment into fragmented pieces. This harmful
action will isolate you and keep you from connecting to all
things.
Example: Greed
Vivian is a server. She has been with the same restaurant
for years. Recently Vivian has been having financial
difficulties. Her husband lost his job. Shortly thereafter, he
gained employment, but at a substantial pay reduction. In
the meantime, the manager of the restaurant hired two
servers; Vivian was aware she would not be receiving as
many tips. Needless to say, she was upset.
As the new servers worked longer hours and had regular
customers, they noticed on particular shifts their regular
customers were only leaving a dollar or two in tips.
When the servers put their heads together, they realized
the tips were sparse whenever Vivian was on their shift.
The head server, Susie, saw Vivian walk by the new server’s
tables. She nonchalantly slipped most of the tips in her
apron pocket.
Susie had an idea. After customers left the tips on the
tables, waitresses took turns putting a red mark in the corner
of each bill. After lunch, around two o’clock, the manager
called Vivian into his office and asked her to empty
her apron in front of the servers. Sure enough, Vivian had
red-tipped money in her possession.
Even though she was caught stealing, Vivian denied the
allegations. The other servers refused to work with her. The
company transferred her to another branch, and she was
warned to behave herself. The following month she repeated
her habit and was fired.
Vivian felt she deserved taking someone else’s tips.
After all, she was down and out. She never considered that
the other servers needed their tips as much as she.
GOOD LUCK/BAD LUCK
Let us question is there a phenomena called good luck or
bad luck? Think why is it when a happy event occurs we
chalk it up to good luck. Or when something irritating occurs
we call it bad luck.
One cannot strive for good luck because the phenomenon
of luck happens without a history or a future. If a person
had a plan and the plan is workable, it is considered
good luck. Struggles in life have nothing to do with luck.
They are experiences.
Good luck is similar to grace happening to you, not because
of you. It is the telephone call full of reverence—just
when you needed a lift. It is a friend sharing his or her life
with you. It is getting up in the morning and realizing you
have the day in front of you. Your good luck could be a
dream come true but with much hard work behind it.
Bad luck is the phenomena joining with other polarities
in life that bring something to a climax. For example if
you had an accident, loss of employment, a loved one deserted
you, or you had a health problem you would automatically
consider those things bad luck.
Think of an abrupt circumstance as a “do-over” not an
ending. Besides, and unforeseen circumstance forces you
to check your priorities—similar to challenges. It gives you
an “aha” moment—bringing you to a different mode of
thinking. Maybe that is what some would call a sign of good
luck.
DORIS ANN'S OBSERVATION:
Feel free to email questions concerning life's journey.
I'll place a dialogue on the web with an answer.
EMAIL: kindredspiritri@yahoo.com
dorisbridgehouse11@gmail.com
Practicing any form of meditation
Brings you closer to the you...your spirit.
If you have any questions, feel free to mail me.
